My friend posted this on Facebook and I thought... damn, that's true... well, sometimes! :)
A Guide to Jewish Holidays: Purim is for alcoholics.
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Okay, I must rant for a minute.
So my friend over at CasaCullen has gotten me all inspired to spruce up my wee home. I've enjoyed planning out many projects and (so far) executing a few.
One thing I always go round and round about is organizing my stuff... Shoes, sweaters, clothing, books, movies, etc.
And then I got an email from my heaven/hell... The Container Store.
So my friend over at CasaCullen has gotten me all inspired to spruce up my wee home. I've enjoyed planning out many projects and (so far) executing a few.
One thing I always go round and round about is organizing my stuff... Shoes, sweaters, clothing, books, movies, etc.
And then I got an email from my heaven/hell... The Container Store.
Thanks to everyone who took my bathroom habits survey. I was bummed that I didn't get more of a response but here is the data...
Demographics -
54 respondents
70% were women
30% were men
76% were between 19 - 29
22% were between 30 - 39
2% were between 40 - 49
40% from the Southeast
35% from the Central US (Colorado, Kansas, etc)
11% from the Southwest
7% from the Northeast
4% from the Mid-west
4% from the Northwest
Bathroom habits -
When asked what stall you go to, it was an even split between the first, middle, and last, as well as other. Some responses were -
"Disabled/handicap stall"
"Closest one to a solid wall"
"At least one away from other people"
"The one where the door swings out"
and the best of the group - "There are elaborate man rules about this"
When asked about a bathroom you frequent (i.e. work) a trend did emerge. 69% of respondents always tried to use the same stall every time. As one person put it, "there's no place like home."
This survey also dispelled a rumor about stall selection when others are in the bathroom. There was a pretty even split here too.
39% said they skipped one stall
33% said "who cares, I have to pee!"
28% said they pick the furthest from being occupied.
Responses? "Cleanest always wins!" "I'm a guy, so it all depends. #1, skip a stall. #2, find another bathroom or wait until later. I'm not pooping next to anyone."
The next question asked for their response on the question "why do you pick the stall you pick."
We also asked - "Do you take longer to "finish up" if someone else is in the bathroom to avoid seeing people?"
46% said yes!
35% said no
and 20% said other
"Yes, at work, because there aren't separate staff stalls and I don't want to run into patrons."
and "It depends. Public restroom I take longer. A more familiar restroom (like work), I might try to finish sooner to see who it is I can talk to for a few minutes."
Lastly, I asked the age old question... did you wash your hands! :) I don't know that people were entirely honest but I hope so, because that means we have some clean people out there!!
57% said all the time
24% said 75% of the time
15% said 50% of the time
4% said 25% of the time
and no one said never... whew!
Some responses -
"3 A.M. not so much -- too sleepy"
"sometimes at home I just do a quick pee and have to run. always in public because i have been near other people"
"Always in a public restroom"
"But I don't always use soap (I have very sensitive skin, so I can't use some of the cheap bathroom soaps without my hands turning bright red and itchy.) Sometimes I just rinse, dry and use hand sanitizer later."
"110%, and use a paper towel to open the door."
"Always when in public, rarely at home."
_____________________
Very interesting responses. It has showed me that we all have a lot of unsubstantiated ideas about the restroom and the first stall may not always be cleaner... since we all saw that news report that it is less used. :) And a lot of people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom at home... interesting.
Thanks for playing along kids!
Demographics -54 respondents
70% were women
30% were men
76% were between 19 - 29
22% were between 30 - 39
2% were between 40 - 49
40% from the Southeast
35% from the Central US (Colorado, Kansas, etc)
11% from the Southwest
7% from the Northeast
4% from the Mid-west
4% from the Northwest
Bathroom habits -
When asked what stall you go to, it was an even split between the first, middle, and last, as well as other. Some responses were -
"Disabled/handicap stall"
"Closest one to a solid wall"
"At least one away from other people"
"The one where the door swings out"
and the best of the group - "There are elaborate man rules about this"
When asked about a bathroom you frequent (i.e. work) a trend did emerge. 69% of respondents always tried to use the same stall every time. As one person put it, "there's no place like home."
This survey also dispelled a rumor about stall selection when others are in the bathroom. There was a pretty even split here too.
39% said they skipped one stall
33% said "who cares, I have to pee!"
28% said they pick the furthest from being occupied.
Responses? "Cleanest always wins!" "I'm a guy, so it all depends. #1, skip a stall. #2, find another bathroom or wait until later. I'm not pooping next to anyone."
The next question asked for their response on the question "why do you pick the stall you pick." - "Handicap stalls usually have more room to maneuver, are more private, and have taller toilets"
- "i pick the ones with the best doors"
- "I've heard that people tend to use the middle or last stalls most often; therefore, the first stall is usually cleaner. Also, I've noticed that people usually don't go for the first stall, so it's kind of like an act of bravery to go into the first one."
- "Don't want to be too close to 'my neighbor's' sound effects :)"
- "I've always thought (for no rational reason) that the ones closest to the door are the least used....so I use those"
- "It's a combination of I feel tall at the little urinal and I feel its always cleaner"
- "Generally because somebody is always in the first stall, or the first stall is usually clogged. Odd but true."
- And the ever useful - "Just cause"
We also asked - "Do you take longer to "finish up" if someone else is in the bathroom to avoid seeing people?"
46% said yes!
35% said no
and 20% said other
"Yes, at work, because there aren't separate staff stalls and I don't want to run into patrons."
and "It depends. Public restroom I take longer. A more familiar restroom (like work), I might try to finish sooner to see who it is I can talk to for a few minutes."
Lastly, I asked the age old question... did you wash your hands! :) I don't know that people were entirely honest but I hope so, because that means we have some clean people out there!!
57% said all the time
24% said 75% of the time
15% said 50% of the time
4% said 25% of the time
and no one said never... whew!
Some responses -
"3 A.M. not so much -- too sleepy"
"sometimes at home I just do a quick pee and have to run. always in public because i have been near other people"
"Always in a public restroom"
"But I don't always use soap (I have very sensitive skin, so I can't use some of the cheap bathroom soaps without my hands turning bright red and itchy.) Sometimes I just rinse, dry and use hand sanitizer later."
"110%, and use a paper towel to open the door."
"Always when in public, rarely at home."
_____________________
Very interesting responses. It has showed me that we all have a lot of unsubstantiated ideas about the restroom and the first stall may not always be cleaner... since we all saw that news report that it is less used. :) And a lot of people don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom at home... interesting.
Thanks for playing along kids!
So today has officially been declared Jackass Day.
Bad drivers, bad boys, bad social networking sites... just all around annoying. But the best part is nearly everyone in the office is on the same page. So we are trying to trend #JackassDay on Twitter now. And having a great time...
Hilarious... so enjoy Jackass Day and if you want to be cool, help us trend #JackassDay by Tweeting about Jackass Day with the hashtag - #JackassDay
:)
Bad drivers, bad boys, bad social networking sites... just all around annoying. But the best part is nearly everyone in the office is on the same page. So we are trying to trend #JackassDay on Twitter now. And having a great time...
Hilarious... so enjoy Jackass Day and if you want to be cool, help us trend #JackassDay by Tweeting about Jackass Day with the hashtag - #JackassDay
:)
Sorry that it's been a long time... life got REALLY busy!
Okay so, I have these awesome friends. They live down the street and their daughters go to ballet at BNC. Really fun and sweet family. I will give them fake names to protect their anonymity (but frankly, if you know me or BNC, you will see through my ruse). So Phad and Sen have 4 little girls. They are 8, 6, 4, and almost 2. Really smart and cute kids.
So I knew the 4 year old (we will call her... uhm... Poxy) since she was very little. When she was a toddler, she was so afraid of these primary colored plastic bugs that you could put the in a circle around her and she wouldn't cross it. SO funny. It was a pretty effective baby gate. But I have to say, I think the youngest (we will call her... uhm... Kaherazade) is the funniest.
Disclaimer, I think Sen is pretty much the best mom I have ever met. She is SO giving me mom lessons when I have kids.
So Kaherazade says many funny things. Lately it is "Bunnies, kill me." What she means is she wants her dad to go out and knock off the bountiful bunnies that have taken over their neighborhood. The girl is serious about this. She found a slingshot and gave it to Phad to get the job done! Tonight, we were getting their house ready for Easter while the three older kids were sleeping and making Easter baskets for all four. Kaherzy saw the stuffed, pink and purple, bunnies for the baskets and she kept saying "outside, outside" like we needed to put the stuffed ones outside and kill them! She was so serious! We had to take the bunnies out of sight.
So Kaherzy gives us many band names when she babbles... we like "Bunnies kill me beyotch." Don't steal it. It's ours. Kaherzy says sh*t, beyotch, a**hole, and my fav... c*ck when she means to say talk. Sorry if anyone is offended but it's hilarious and those words are off limits when she gets old enough to remember.
Beyond anything, my favorite is when she knows they are going to ballet or when she sees me and says "Tayah, Tayah." That sweet voice, blue eyes... dude, I am a big puddle.
The coolest thing about hanging with little kids is how in the moment you become and have to be. You can't worry about bills or problems or tomorrow or yesterday... you are right there, right then. Same thing with animals, I think.
I love kids. :-)
And lordy, I have so many good stories to tell at these girls' weddings. :-)
So, Sen said I could spill the beans and anyway I am doing a superior job of protecting their identities... HA HA... but... Sen is pregnant again! Totally unplanned and she didn't know until the middle of last week but she is almost 6 weeks. I am actually hoping for a boy... Phad needs some support in that house... but you know that kid will be dressed in girl clothes because that is what they have on hand! :-)
Okay so, I have these awesome friends. They live down the street and their daughters go to ballet at BNC. Really fun and sweet family. I will give them fake names to protect their anonymity (but frankly, if you know me or BNC, you will see through my ruse). So Phad and Sen have 4 little girls. They are 8, 6, 4, and almost 2. Really smart and cute kids.
So I knew the 4 year old (we will call her... uhm... Poxy) since she was very little. When she was a toddler, she was so afraid of these primary colored plastic bugs that you could put the in a circle around her and she wouldn't cross it. SO funny. It was a pretty effective baby gate. But I have to say, I think the youngest (we will call her... uhm... Kaherazade) is the funniest.
Disclaimer, I think Sen is pretty much the best mom I have ever met. She is SO giving me mom lessons when I have kids.
So Kaherazade says many funny things. Lately it is "Bunnies, kill me." What she means is she wants her dad to go out and knock off the bountiful bunnies that have taken over their neighborhood. The girl is serious about this. She found a slingshot and gave it to Phad to get the job done! Tonight, we were getting their house ready for Easter while the three older kids were sleeping and making Easter baskets for all four. Kaherzy saw the stuffed, pink and purple, bunnies for the baskets and she kept saying "outside, outside" like we needed to put the stuffed ones outside and kill them! She was so serious! We had to take the bunnies out of sight.
So Kaherzy gives us many band names when she babbles... we like "Bunnies kill me beyotch." Don't steal it. It's ours. Kaherzy says sh*t, beyotch, a**hole, and my fav... c*ck when she means to say talk. Sorry if anyone is offended but it's hilarious and those words are off limits when she gets old enough to remember.
Beyond anything, my favorite is when she knows they are going to ballet or when she sees me and says "Tayah, Tayah." That sweet voice, blue eyes... dude, I am a big puddle.
The coolest thing about hanging with little kids is how in the moment you become and have to be. You can't worry about bills or problems or tomorrow or yesterday... you are right there, right then. Same thing with animals, I think.
I love kids. :-)
And lordy, I have so many good stories to tell at these girls' weddings. :-)
So, Sen said I could spill the beans and anyway I am doing a superior job of protecting their identities... HA HA... but... Sen is pregnant again! Totally unplanned and she didn't know until the middle of last week but she is almost 6 weeks. I am actually hoping for a boy... Phad needs some support in that house... but you know that kid will be dressed in girl clothes because that is what they have on hand! :-)
Okay! I think that a birthday is more than just a day. I like to celebrate a birthday month. Not for presents or anything but it just gives me a reason to be excited all month.
So my birthday is March 19... that is 19 full days of joy (you can still celebrate afterwards but you know that the momentum lags a bit after a few days).
But a birthday is also like a new beginning, a new year for your soul/body/mind. Isn't it interesting, as Jews we give ourselves so many new years, new beginnings. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. Tu b'shvat, the new year for the trees. January 1st, the secular new year. Our birthdays begin a new year for ourselves and you always get to celebrate twice if you use your Hebrew birthdate.
Why do we feel like we need to give ourselves clean slates over and over again? We say on Jan 1st that we will make resolutions. We say on our birthdays that this "one" will be a great one. But on Rosh Hashanah its different. On RH we actually take time to look at our lives and the past year. We reflect on mistakes and mis-steps and ask for forgiveness. We look for opportunities to forgive, reconcile, and start fresh. I like it. No empty promises. No gorging on cake, just a good look at who we are today and what we could do better in the next year. But you still get to have fun. So I am going to use this month to reflect and make adjustments and be excited about the future.
So anyway, Happy Birthday Month to me! And don't forget to celebrate you and how cool you are in your birthday month...
not saying that I'm cool...
but I think I am...
you know what I mean...
right?
So my birthday is March 19... that is 19 full days of joy (you can still celebrate afterwards but you know that the momentum lags a bit after a few days).
But a birthday is also like a new beginning, a new year for your soul/body/mind. Isn't it interesting, as Jews we give ourselves so many new years, new beginnings. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. Tu b'shvat, the new year for the trees. January 1st, the secular new year. Our birthdays begin a new year for ourselves and you always get to celebrate twice if you use your Hebrew birthdate.
Why do we feel like we need to give ourselves clean slates over and over again? We say on Jan 1st that we will make resolutions. We say on our birthdays that this "one" will be a great one. But on Rosh Hashanah its different. On RH we actually take time to look at our lives and the past year. We reflect on mistakes and mis-steps and ask for forgiveness. We look for opportunities to forgive, reconcile, and start fresh. I like it. No empty promises. No gorging on cake, just a good look at who we are today and what we could do better in the next year. But you still get to have fun. So I am going to use this month to reflect and make adjustments and be excited about the future.
So anyway, Happy Birthday Month to me! And don't forget to celebrate you and how cool you are in your birthday month...
not saying that I'm cool...
but I think I am...
you know what I mean...
right?
Okay, I don't want to post a ton of "funny things you get on email" here but this one is just too cool. I don't know if it actually happened but these names are hilarious! Some of these are really creative!
Ben & Jerry created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama.
For George W. they asked for suggestions from the public.
Here are some of their favorite responses:
- Grape Depression
- The Housing Crunch
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut'n Accomplished
- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker... Swirl
- Iraqi Road
- Chock 'n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Cobbler
- Guantanmallow
- imPeachmint
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Neocon Politan
- Rocky Road to Fascism
- The Reese's-cession
- Cookie D'oh!
- Nougalar Proliferation
- Death by Chocolate... and Torture
- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
- Credit Crunch- Mission Pecanplished
- Country Pumpkin
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- WMDelicious
- Chocolate Chimp
- Bloody Sundae
- Caramel Preemptive Stripe
- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts
Ben & Jerry created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor for Obama.
For George W. they asked for suggestions from the public.
Here are some of their favorite responses:
- Grape Depression
- The Housing Crunch
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut'n Accomplished
- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfucker... Swirl
- Iraqi Road
- Chock 'n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Cobbler
- Guantanmallow
- imPeachmint
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Neocon Politan
- Rocky Road to Fascism
- The Reese's-cession
- Cookie D'oh!
- Nougalar Proliferation
- Death by Chocolate... and Torture
- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
- Credit Crunch- Mission Pecanplished
- Country Pumpkin
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- WMDelicious
- Chocolate Chimp
- Bloody Sundae
- Caramel Preemptive Stripe
- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts
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